This coming September I'll be homeschooling a tween, a sixth grader, and it already feels so new and strange to me. I find myself missing the innocence and cuteness of his elementary school curriculum. I'm not concerned about the years to come academically, that we can manage. I think our struggles will be to find him constructive things to do with his time.
I know everyone with tweens and teens struggles with this, even those who have children in school outside the home. We live in a highly transient area, so teen groups are not cohesive and there is little sense of community. It's a historic area with many museums, a botanical garden, and two zoos; there is lots to see and do, but we have done it already 100 times. Now I have to figure out what to do with a teen who dislikes sports, and doesn't feel the need for much organized socialization outside the home.
I'll be researching books on preparing teenagers for life and homeschooling teens in general. A few things I plan for him to do as he gets older is to find volunteer opportunities, and join the church teen group which unfortunately is not all that organized or cohesive either. He's in transition right now from boy to teen, so that means our homeschool is as well. The course of our lives is not all neat and tidy anymore. My son's interests have not defined themselves either, so there is no clear direction, unless you can make a living off watching and collecting all things related to super heroes. He recently found my husband's childhood collection of Garfield and Beetle Bailey comic books which produces gales of laughter for a good part of the afternoon after school work is done. At least he is never bored; he is always content. He is also fairly independent and responsible with his school work and chores, so this will serve him well.
As usual I am probably getting too far ahead of myself with my son's future. I have to remind myself to take it one step at a time, and have faith that God will work in my son's life just as it has in my own. For this reason, I've chosen to concentrate and focus on his spiritual growth, and not get all head up if we don't read every recommended classic piece of literature. Practical life skills are important as well. It was sink or swim during my early life. No one taught me in school(or at home) how to use a checking account, how to save and budget money, or anything about taxes. Not to mention how to cook, how to sew a button onto your clothes(or sew for that matter), how to have a mature relationship with the opposite sex, or how to deal with life's ups and downs in a healthy way. What I did learn though was how to learn, so for that I am grateful. What I learned, I learned from books and periodicals. And now we have the Internet; what a blessing this has been!
Feel free to share any Christian books or resources which you found useful for bringing up your teens. I'm interested.
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6 comments:
Again - right here with you. ;-) My oldest is 12 & he's going in to the "seventh" grade. I do try to combine most of their subjects - as in we do them together at their level. I know he's doing some things below grade level, but for now it works for me since I'm also schooling a 3rd grader & a Kindergartner plus babysitting a toddler & infant. Phew! I panicked earlier this year & was reminded to continue doing the same things that have worked before. Sometimes I think that's okay & sometimes I keep panicking. ;-)
LOL, yep, mini panic episodes here too. Miracles of miracles though...my son just came back tonight after a week with relatives, and he wants to try summer camp!
Alexandra -
I went through this when my girl was your son's age. It was a time of transition and adjustment. I really agree that life skills are a must, as well as focusing on the spiritual. Your son will then have a really solid base underneath him when he is faced with all kinds of choices as he goes forward in life. Spiritual things will keep him anchored.
God bless as you go forward together. I pray your relationship with strengthen and draw the two of you closer.
Elizabeth
Thanks Elizabeth, that means a lot to me. :)
I just stumbled across your blog, and am really glad I did! I love that you're making your own cheese and mayonnaise, and am intrigued by the Chandrika soap review too. I think I might just buy a couple of bars!
When I saw this post I knew I was about to leave a reeeallly long comment (haha!), because I was homeschooled in a Christian household from elementary school all the way to graduation and even though I'm not coming from a mom's perspective, I thought I would pass on some of the things I think were (or would have been) key. :) I hope you don't mind! These are things I wish my parents/I had know at the time -- it could have eased a lot of deep struggles for me later on.
I was very book-ish and introverted growing up, and so I think your mention of finding volunteer opportunities and church group involvement is dead-on... even if they are challenging more than fun, it's important for the teen to have those social interactions because when you get to college or even just the day-to-day after high school graduation, life shifts dramatically and it can be hard to shift with it... or at least it was for me. Getting a job at a certain point in high school is also a great idea -- I worked at a Family Christian Store and waitressed in college, and both were really huge in developing my independence and confidence -- they served a roll in my maturing that nothing else in my homeschool life did, and I kind of wish I had gotten a structured kind of job like that earlier. It sounds like your child might be somewhat similarly introverted, and if that's the case it might help to view social situations as a game to develop excellence in, and an experience to learn from, rather than just something to get through...
I also love your emphasis on life-skills -- at a certain point my parents got frustrated at me for not keeping up with responsible, "adult" things like changing my car oil and airing the tires, or filing taxes etc, but I had never really been taught these kind of basic functional things, so when I got to the point that they were straight-up necessary I was incredibly overwhelmed by keeping up with all of them. Setting an example, showing the step-by-step, and then stepping back to let your kid handle it on his own (and maybe make some mistakes on his own) is really a huge exercise in loving parenting I think.
Also, a concrete transitional thing that was hard for me going from "homeschool world" to "real world" was managing priorities when there were a lot of demands on my time... so much of my learning was done at my own pace growing up, and that's a great thing about homeschooling, but as children get older it's also important to learn to be aware of deadlines and manage a calender/schedule accordingly. Something I wish I had figured out earlier!
I know your son is just heading into those stages and a lot of this pertains to older children, but they are things that I've mulled over a great deal regarding what I would do differently were I ever to homeschool... Just some thoughts. I think homeschooling can be such an amazing opportunity and tool... It sounds like you're really approaching it with a great, thoughtful mindset. :)
I'm subscribed now, and looking forward to your posts!
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share your experiences! It's always good to hear from home school graduates.
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